Monday, June 16, 2008

Parenting- Successful Fathers

Happy Father’s Day!

"Any man can be a father.
It takes someone special to be a dad."
Author Unknown

“Every father should remember... that one day his son
will follow his example... instead of his advice.”

"My father gave me the greatest gift...
anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
Jim Valvano

"The most important thing a father can do for his children...
is to love their mother."
Rev. Theodore Hesburgh

To all the dads out there, do you have the guts to take the challenge? Let’s see if you have all of them checked otherwise you have to take the subject again…Dad 101 (5 units).

1. Do I have a sense of supportive partnership with my wife?
2. Do I frequently talk with my wife about our children’s character, strengths and weaknesses?
3. Do I think long-term about our children’s future as grown-up men and women?
4. Do I frequently discuss things with my children?
5. Do I listen to my children as well?
6. Do I keep television watching to a minimum?
7. Am I confident of my authority?
8. Do I see discipline not as a punishment or mere behavior-control but rather a means of building my children self-control?
9. Do I have a number of close friends?
10. Do I have a profound and active religious faith?
11. Do I reach my children that real happiness doesn’t come from wealth and power?
12. Do I put my family’s welfare ahead of my job?

Food for thought:
l. How often do I think seriously about what strength of character my children see in me-in the way I habitually live faith, hope, charity, sound judgment, sense of responsibility, personal toughness and self-discipline?
2. Where, in their daily lives, do the kids see attractive examples of the opposites of these: religious indifference and materialism, despair and self-doubt, selfishness, sloppy thinking, immaturity and irresponsibility, softness, self-indulgence?
3. How could, in the future, above weaknesses affect the stability and happiness of their marriage? Are they headed for trouble?
4. How much do the children know about my work? Do they understand how I have to exercise strength of character in earning a living?
5. Whom do the children respect and admire and why?
6. In what circumstances do the children see me show respect for others- in religious practice, public courtesy and good manners?
7. Do the children show enough respect and appreciation for their mother?
8. Are the kids aware that their mother is the #1 person in my life?
9. Is there a sense of “family honor” and “family name” among our children?
10. How many hours of television do the children watch each week? What sort of television personalities do they admire?
11. What could the children be learning if their TV time went into other activities like reading, music lessons, visiting the elderly, planning and executing projects?
12. If the TV stops functioning as baby-sitter at home, how can I help my wife with the increased responsibility of keeping the kid’s mind constructively occupied?
13. Do the children’s sport activities induce active bodies but passive minds?
14. To whom do the kids look for a model for adult-level strength and competence- to me or to celebrities of the entertainment industry?
15. Am I able to get down to the kids’ level? But am I careful not to stay there? Do I lift them up to my level?
16. Do the kids see me proud and honored by the strengths of character that I see growing inside them?

(The checklist and the above questions were excerpt from the book “Successful Fathers” by James B. Stenson)

If you are an absentee or a defaulting daddy, you are the best producer and director of a modern day family tragedy. According to research, an emotionally or physically absent daddy contributes to the child’s low self-esteem; low motivation for achievement and inability to defer immediate gratification for later rewards; and susceptibility to group influence and to juvenile delinquency. It also noteworthy that an authority (masculine) figure in the household has a great influence in child’s formation of self- identity.It was also reiterated in one of Jonh Hopkins University researches that young, white teenage girls living in fatherless families were 60% prone to premarital intercourse than those living in two-parents home.

1 comment:

John Esberg said...

Well, I would have to say that I'm up to the challenge of being a father. I wouldn't have it any other way. So, are you going to post something that covers what's needed to be a good mother? Many women flop at this task, just go to Cafe Mom and see some of the stupid things that are documented online.